I used to send pics in almost every email to Bill (back when I had a webcam, before I got the digital) This is me from five years ago, before my fortieth birthday. I used to get ready for work, then take the pic, so he'd always see how nice I looked. Now he sees me first thing in the morning, poor guy!
We're trying to get ourselves psyched for a fight with Tina, Em's bio-mom.
Em has really been wrestling with herself, as well as us, for the last six months. She goes back and forth on whether she still loves Tina, or just feels sorry for her, or both. Unfortunately, it's been wreaking havoc with her health. Her ulcer is acting up again, and she's been having more anxiety lately.
At her counselling session on Wednesday, we talked at length and it's been decided that we won't make her talk to Tina. Em's therapist said that it was like we were forcing her to stay in an abusive relationship, and diagnosed her with mild post-traumatic stress.
The therapist, Em and me decided that we'd start with a letter. Em can explain that she has some anxiety around the phone calls, particularly when Tina keeps reassuring her that she'll take us to court. Tina thinks she has to "save" Em from us (Em has never challenged this) but all it was doing was threatening to take away the only secure home she's ever known.
Bill and I would include a letter of our own, explaining that we are supporting Em in her decision but we will keep an open mind. We want to be kind to her because she's not well (untreated bi-polar disorder, munchausin's, personality disorders) but if she seeks treatment we can consider it.
The biggest thing is that Em is under a lot of pressure during each conversation. She has to be careful not to give away our location, her school, or even where she hangs out. She knows that anything she says can be taken wrong by Tina, and then Bill will feel the brunt of her anger - ten to eleven phone calls a day, each one leaving a three minute long diatribe about how she's going to tell Em something bad about his past. Occasionally she'll leave a short threat, like "I'm coming to get you, boy." Crazy.
Anyway, I'm not sure what'll happen. It could start something, but Em is hoping it won't. She thinks that Tina would be in danger of losing city housing if she admitted she didn't have custody of Em, or her older brother Shaun, and will keep quiet. We're not sure if she's also claiming both children to recieve more social services benefits, but that would help if she was.
Have a nice Friday!