my history of fashion

I believe that my mother ingrained my love for clothing and fashion. I remember being a little girl and sitting at her dressing table in her bedroom when I was maybe four, or five. She had little pots of eyeshadow in blue and green and really cool lipsticks. When I finished snooping around there I'd go into her closet where she had little gold and silver go-go dresses, black patent and white leather sandals. I remember asking once, why are the white ones at the very back? That was the first time I'd ever heard that white was reserved for Spring and Summer.





When I was six I had a little traveling suit that I wore when I visted our Grandmother in Vancouver. It was a peach coloured shift dress that had a peach argyle jacket and matching hat. I had white tights and mary-janes that completed the outfit and I loved it even more than the little green vinyl shift dress that I'd worn for Christmas in 1970, when I was five.

Years later, after Mom & Dad broke up and we were living in Alberta. I bought my first pair of high heeled shoes when I was fourteen. They were knock offs of the famous Candies Disco Slide. I bought them in brown and wore them with a brown pencil skirt and a brown and tan plaid boyfriend blazer, and felt completely gown up and stylish!



If I could have worn those every day I would have. Instead, due to the harsh Alberta winters, I had to wear these:

I hated those boots, but would not be allowed on the bus without "proper footwear", so I would wear my high top converse sneakers (in purple!) and carry these over my shoulder.

After graduating from high school I worked at the local hotel in the restaurant, and wore my high waisted jeans with a variety of blouses. Most were very form ftting with asymetrical button closures and mutton sleeves, but my favourite was made from green plaid and had at least twenty buttons.

New Years Eve was huge for me when I was in my early twenties, and my favourite outfit of all time was a dress that I designed and my mother sewed. It was made from black taffeta and consisted of a high waisted pencil skirt with shoulder straps and a long sleeved tuxedo-styled bolero jacket. I finished it off with knee high black leather boots and gloves, a red satin purse, and a red satin bow tie.





Over the years I've had other favourite outfits, but most of them consist of pencil skirts and high heeled slingbacks.I'm a sucker for a well made jacket or interesting bag and LOVE a sexy boot, but I need to work on my casual wardrobe for school. This is the first time in more than a few years where I've needed to work on jeans, blouses and casual jackets, and it's been kind of fun so far. Who knew that I would fall in love with interesting scarves?!

my specs!

my new reading glasses

I hate to admit it, but I have to use reading glasses if I want to see anything up close!

I actually wear bi-focal contact lenses, which gives me distance vision, then wear reading glasses (purchased at Chapters for $16.99) to see anything up close. I don't mind, now that I have gotten into a routine (they MUST stay in the same place inside my purse AT ALL TIMES or they get lost)

Also, can you tell I had a glycolic peel yesterday? My sister did one for $10.00 because she is almost finished her esthetics course. My skin doesn't feel different, but everyone says it looks "brighter."

Excellent! I've been using anti-aging products and services for at least fifteen years and think they are totally worth it.

p.s. I know, I know! I can't smile to save my life, even though I am in a good mood.

letters to Dale

One would think, especially after almost eight years, that the letters I write to Dale (in my head, usually when driving or walking) would lessen, but they really haven't. And many of the reasons I have not blogged as much as I used to is because I often think my readers would grow tired of it, and there's only so much I can write and rewrite, etc. etc. Perhaps in my old blog (I am a journalspace refugee) but I think that many of the people who read this one don't know all the stories. I've been thinking that it's time to retell some of them.

Today I attended my regular math class at the college, then caught a bus downtown for some bloodwork, then walked over to the restaurant that I was working in when I first met Dale. It brought back a lot of memories.

February 3rd, 2010

Dear Dale,

I know I haven't written in a long time, but I've been thinking of you a lot and I'm sure you already know that! Anyway, today I went into DINO'S, can you believe it? I know, I know. I always said that I'd never go back to that place after walking out in 1995, but I've softened a lot in the last few years.

I sat down in the lounge and ordered my old regular (1/2 order of lasagna with feta cheese, remember?) and after a few moments, Mike came out to sit with me. I always loved Mike. His hair has a lot more gray in it, and he doesn't work as much as he used to because he's busy enjoying his grandchildren (from Little Helen! Nico hasn't married yet) Elpis seems to have gotten a little nicer too. I guess granchildren can do that, lol.

Anyway, Mike talked about you a lot. He says he remembers when he first noticed that you were sick, because your skin had started to go yellow. He says you used to come in and shoot the shit for a bit, have a shot of ouzo. Elpis asked me, did you drink til the end? And I was so relieved being able to say no, you quit just after your 35th birthday, eight months before you died. What a gift! To this day I am both amazed that you could do it and sad that you couldn't do it sooner. But we won't get into that.

You probably know that acceptance was hard for me, even after I fell in love with Bill. It has only been the last few years that I could accept that you'd died. I must have imagined you off working somewhere, like in the first few months after Jamie and I moved into that apartment. From the front steps I could see across the field separating Clearview and Mitchener and I always imagined that behind those trees, you were still living in the duplex. I imagined you walking Lucy, doing kata, working, getting clean.

Enough of that.

I turned 45 on Sunday - isn't that surreal?! And I am taking a math class at the college, so yes, you were right about my having to bite the bullet and just do it. It took a few years but I am doing just that! Now that my career as a retail manager is over (as well as my career as a Financial Advisor) I have no choice but to do it. Today as I was walking past the Engineers wing, I thought of you and how badly you wanted to attend Simon Fraser University in Vancouver and how you never got the chance, and I was profoundly grateful that I do. I am profoundly grateful for the life I'm living now.

Love Kathy

p.s. Al started training again! I know this because of Facebook, but then again, FB wasn't around in 2001, was it? Anyway, it's a great way to keep in touch.

I ♥ this

bag by Guess

I finally had some time to take a picture of my new bag. It'd been over a year since I was able to get something like this but it was well worth the wait!

Today after class I went for tutoring, since the college offers it for free. Two hours later and I think I have the hang of multiplying fractions. Dayum! No wonder I was confused in high school - you really need to pay close attention to detail.

I'm cutting this short so that I can read a few blogs before supper. Have a great night!

bags and girl bonding

photo by Piotr Myrlak

The weather has been beautiful for the last week, and that has made a huge difference in my day, since I paid for my math class instead of putting a down payment on a car. At the time, I wondered if I would come to regret it but so far I haven't.

In the morning I walk to the end of my street to get on the bus and it drops me off a few feet from the front door, after I finish my homework at college (I cannot do homework here, there is too much activity that directly involves me) I walk out to the bus stop again. I've got the timing down pat and rarely have to wait, and to be honest, the thought of starting a car in the morning, scraping the windshield, paying for a parking pass, and trying to find a spot in the lot have been keeping me from saving the money.

Well, that and the fact that I was dying for a new purse and a haircut, lol.

I saw Carla on Friday, for the first time in almost eight months. Carla is my stylist and has been for almost five years - she's the only one I've ever found that can cut my bangs razor sharp and straight across. She set up a shop in her house last year and charges me $40, and I was really thrilled to see her. She took at least four inches off the bottom, added some layers, and flat ironed it into perfection.

I'm not sure why we hit it off so well but I think it's because we have had so many of the same experiences. She's a plus sized girl but has been losing weight; she's in love with an alcoholic but won't see him very much while he's actively boozing and because of this she experiences a lot of the despair and loneliness, and she lost her dad last year to cancer. He was 47.

She actually made me cry talking about Dale, which hasn't happened in awhile. It's the way she talks about the loss, I think; matter-of-factly and sad. "It never goes away, does it?" she'd asked. "You think it has," I answered, "then you can picture them as clear as day, healthy, with bright blue eyes and you can see how much they loved you and you realize once again what a huge loss it was. Then it hits you like a ton of bricks."

"No shit. I always feel better after talking to you, hon." By the way, Carla is the only person that I allow to call me "hon". Actually, most of the time she calls me Dahling, but I don't mind, which is odd for me.

I have to take a pic of my new purse! It was my gift to myself the day before I quit Winners, and I'm really liking it!

It's the little things.

-1)-1)-1) + 7 = X

For days I went back and forth with whether I should go to school or keep my job at Winners; as it turned out, once I took the math assessment test everything happened very quickly. The assessment was awful (I left more than half the test blank) the college recommended I start at Math 50, the next morning I showed up with an empty notebook and a pen.

I resigned from the big box store the next day. Yay! My last day is Thursday, then I have a shift at the clothing store on Saturday. After a few days off, I'll start applying for something else I can work between the hours of 11 a.m. and 7 p.m.

I really enjoy the math class and I find that shocking! But since I need to complete three high school math courses before I can start the Business Admin Program, I thought I should start asap.

Twenty-nine years after finishing (and barely passing) grade ten math, it's coming back to bite me on the butt. Surreal!

blah

big drifts in front of the house. Can you see Tokyo looking out?

It's only -15°C, so it shouldn't be too bad getting Bill's truck fixed. Jamie and I are taking the bus from the east side to an industrial business park on the north end, then driving it back to the east side. Then we're going to the college by bus, then taking the bus back to the place where the truck is being fixed.

The plan to replace my truck with an affordable car has been put on hold so many times due to the cost of the holidays, the utilities and the fact that as soon as we try to register the plates, the government will take $250 (for a fine that Bill got last year) and $230 for a fine that I got last year. The insurance will be another $150 (for the first three months) and the down payment will be $500. Hopefully, we can do this on the 15th. Cross your fingers!

Other than my daily lament that we have no car, things are going okay. I am really struggling with wanting to quit my big-box job. There are some really nice people there but two of the five managers are horrible to work with. Yesterday I was scheduled from 9:30-5:00 and got there around 9:24. Sometimes there is a "huddle" going on (small staff meeting) and we're expected to stop at the huddle and listen in. Then we go back to the lunchroom, swipe in and go back to the salesfloor. As I was doing this I noticed a sympathy card and obituary on one of the tables and stopped to pick it up because someone's son had been killed in an accident.

"Kathy!"

I looked up to see Helen, the red-haired, middle-aged assistant manager glaring at me. "Yes?"

"We ARE open, and need you in the fitting rooms." I start thinking that they held me hostage for a good five minutes, listening to them drone on and on about inventory and she's going to begrudge me fifteen seconds to look at an obit? And what was with the mean glare? She's been like this for the past month and I am sick to death of it. I can see myself leaving this job on bad terms, although usually I try not to burn any bridges.

At least I have today and tomorrow to decide. Maybe I'll find a way to get some other income while I'm going to college. One can only hope!

yummy gift

Since Bill didn't get paid until after Christmas, and he didn't get everything for me that he'd wanted to, he decided that last night should be Date Night, and that I should pick a restaurant to visit and consider the night to be part of our Holiday Celebrations. I almost always pick a steak house!

It was excellent. We started with scallops and shrimp, moved onto steak with garlic mashed potatoes and caesar salad (me) and salmon (Bill) We had Spicy Caesars and chilly Seabreezes (vodka/pink grapefruit juice/cranberry juice) and it was delicious.

It was very cold outside (-25°C) so we came home early and snuggled up under the blankets. Today we're headed off to the drugstore because I need to pick up some beauty products. Have a good day and stay warm!

companies that pay OT are awesome

Happy New Year!

Yesterday was Bill's first payday, and it was an excellent way to finish off the year. It was so much more than we'd expected, just because this new company pays for every minute that he works overtime. At his last position (for Evergreen Tank Rentals) he was never paid for this. In fact, even though they owed him for 200 hours of unpaid overtime, they took away his ability to text me when he downloaded a $6 game for his phone (and told them about it. He'd been stuck on a oilrig lease in the middle of nowhere for over seven hours.)

Anyway, as long as this new company keeps it up, we should be in the black in no time. I'm not sure what college classes I'll be taking yet (or when) so I'm not sure where my income will be, but I hope I can drop down to working two or three days a week.

I'm working today, from 12-6:30. That's time and a half for me, and I hope the shift goes by quickly.

Have a good day!