Thursday, May 14, 2009

on catching up laundry and sisters

Sisters, by Lena Sotskova

I slept late this morning, to make up for the long work day yesterday. In the past, working a nine or ten hour day was nothing, but since I have aquired this fatigue issue, it feels more like twenty hours!

The early afternoon has been moderately productive, though. I've done several basins of handwashing, mostly consisting of tank tops or sleepwear. I've finished filling the dishwasher and it's running, and I've folded and put away two loads of Bill's clean clothes, and I have another pile ready to go into the washer.

We're getting ready for Emily's birthday weekend, which consists of us taking her and a friend to Calaway Park in Calgary. I figure we'll spend the day fooling around there (we have two for one tickets) and she can have a sleepover when we come home. We couldn't have it last weekend, because Bill was on call.

At any rate, I've been moving through the house doing all these chores, and I can't help thinking about my sister, Deb. Deb and I have not always been close, because she is the one that "married well" and stayed on the straight and narrow, while I am the black sheep who has lived with/married psychotics and alcoholics.

She was there for me when Dale was sick and dying, and she did give the funeral home a $1,500 down payment, which I have yet to repay. She has never asked for it, so to be honest I don't know if that plays a part in our estrangement. She seems to have started changing around the time I was starting with the insurance company and getting married to Bill, and I haven't heard much from her at all since March of 2008. That seems strange, given that she lives less than thirty miles away. (She texted me in January to say Happy Birthday, and didn't even add an exclamation point!)

Do you think it's natural for siblings to drift apart? I don't know if she resents me, or my lifestyle, or if she is just going through a depression that shuts everyone else out. I haven't asked her, nor will I. Our family doesn't confront anyone else - we're very quiet that way. Other people, yes. Family, no.

I think it's sad and I miss her.


  1. That's a tough one Kate -- I only have one brother and we aren't close at all. Nothing wrong we just don't have much in common - but I do adore his new partner - she is fabulous. I am closer to her than I am with him but it could be a gender thing.

    Not talking isn't that the bane of so many families existance? Because of money issues both my mom's brothers stopped talking to her - both are gone now and I know she misses them and all they meant to her.

  2. I don't talk to my brother and sisters all that much, I have most in common with my brother. There aren't any hard feelings, we just don't pick up the phone.

  3. My sister (who is my only biological relative besides my son now) that I have didn't come to my wedding or hasn't spoken to me in almost a year. Her reason. I forgave someone that we were supposed to be mad at for the rest of time. I miss her but don't miss the crazy thinking she uses.

  4. Since you miss her, could you text her and invite her to coffee or lunch?
    My siblings and I often fail to communicate just because life happens and we don't get around to it.

  5. It was her birthday yesterday and I forgot.