Tuesday, January 13, 2009

middle aged angst



The last couple of days have been pretty rough. Besides the recent full moon and everyone's weird mood, I'm just struggling with my place in this family. Just when I start to feel secure in my role as a wife and mother, Emily and Bill pull this divide and conquer shit on me.

I am getting so frustrated! I do have authority, I don't have authority, I do have authority...

Moving on.

So someone bought journalspace! I was there yesterday and it wouldn't let me have 'becomingkate'. Are you all going to start writing there? I don't want to lose my friends, but I don't have time to start all over again! This blogspot blog took me days to get set up, finding faves all over the blogosphere. Perhaps I'll do what the others have done, and copy&paste. Tell me - what are you gonna do?

28 comments:

  1. It let me be Fijufic again ut Kate the interface has a million bugs. i have a journal there but am going to let it work itself out while I make posts here.

    Kate, what is going on in your house?

    I'm worried. I have always said that I would not let another woman ever come between Kelly and me if Mabel passed away. Is it one of these problems?

    Love,
    Bobby

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  2. it wouldn't let me sign up with kittenheel either. i think it might have to do with some of the archives they've been able to unearth, so as to prevent a "new" kittenheel from getting access to the "old" kittenheel's archive. at least that's the way i understand it.

    i am getting used to being here at blogger, and will probably only post regularly at JS if it looks like all my old JS buddies flock back there. but i've found several of them on here who say they're staying.

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  3. Bobby - Em goes to Bill when she wants a "yes" and so far it hasn't bothered me too much because it was over small stuff. But that day when I tried to interject, he pulled rank.
    So I guess I'm just the babysitter (although he'd say he never said that)

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  4. Copying and pasting sounds like a good idea, but I don't know how to post photos over there.

    WordPress and I do not get along, so I think I may mostly stay at Blogspot. (and leave occasional posts on WP, er, I mean Journal Space. ;) )

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  5. Kate, that must be so hard. My brother had some issues when he married his wife, who brought a little girl to the marriage. The only way the settled it was trusting each other enough to do the right thing for the child.
    You might want to talk to Bill about how much he trusts you and your judgement to help raise Em and explain the imbalance you're feeling.

    Just a suggestion from seeing it before. Hope you get it worked out either way.

    I'm staying here, at least until I can get my name back and/or it stops looking like a mini-wordpress and starts looking like JS again. I'm not sold on just the name.

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  6. Imma gonna stay with Wordpress, but you knew that already >.^

    Yeah, I'd have a little talk with Bill about a "united front" and all that. *grins* If you want the childless bachelor's opinion

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  7. Kate that is ironic, as the Jew and I were speaking about our roles as parents to his three children last night. We spoke of how we are very careful to make sure we support each others' decisions, even if we don't fully agree. We also agreed that if one of us hands down a punishment that the other isn't sure is fair, we let the punishment go for that time and then find a place out of earshot from the child and talk about it.

    We also are preparing to possibly have our own child, in which case we both know that I will treat my child differently than his, and perhaps this will be good or bad - either way we know that disagreeing in front of the child no matter how strongly we feel is ALWAYS WRONG. It is ALWAYS wrong to undermine one of the parent roles, even if his three are not MINE. And heck, you have experience raising a child too!

    You guys really need to work on this if Bill and Emily truly want a "family". Otherwise I would be very pissed off so I understand your hurt.

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  8. Yes, I think I’m going to be staying at Blogger for now. I didn’t even set up an account at the new JS – I started, but found myself wondering why I should. If there’d merely been an overnight change it might have been different, but it would be a matter of restarting again, when I’ve only just got to find my way around here.

    Sorry to hear about Em and Bill – I guess these things will always tend to happen. Hopefully you’ll get it sorted out without too much grief though. Good luck.

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  9. I think I'm staying put now. I'm getting kind of comfortable. I did set up an account though and I'll probably watch what's going on there.

    I'm sorry to hear about Bill and Em. It happens even in non-step-parent families. My parents always (tried) to make sure they didn't disagree in front of us; they would talk about it in private first if it was a big thing and then present a "united front".

    Best of luck!

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  10. sorry about you and Em. Sometimes it's also just a girl/daddy thing, too.

    I'm staying here AND at the new place to watch the changes there. Simon, you better make an account to save your name before someone else gets it (hm, I wonder if I should..... ahem).

    Doanli, to post pictures in wordpress/new JS, just click on the html tab on the entry blocks and do it like you did at old JS.

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  11. I'm keeping my old JS post as a reference to my blogspot address. That's all. There were too many crashes, slow days, serious technical or imcompatibility issues on JS for me to want to act like a dog returning to its vomit.

    I've tried, repeatedly, to retrieve any kind of data from cache files . . . thought I remembered you being able to do that. What message I get (when I attempt such searches of old files) is that JS kept the license to all our blog material and it cannot be released to those authors who wrote it in the first place. Gr-r-r-r-r-r-r.

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  12. Oh -- I forgot to mention -- in regards to the crappy situation with "who supposedly has authority" . . . I'm also going through crazy stuff in my house and I feel sometimes it would be much better to live alone again instead of constantly having to struggle for relationship balance. I mean -- what is it about relationships that makes one person assume s/he has control over another? Can't others just "be" and stay put in their little corner so I don't have to interact for a while? LOL.

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  13. Sorry to hear about your domestic problem. My wife and I absolutely will not put up with the playing one parent against the other ploy, which children WILL do to get their way. I don't think it's a stepchild trait, it's universal.

    As to JS...it's gone...I have accepted it...staying right here. What was there, can't be revived.

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  14. If you can't use your old name, chances are they have saved some of your old profile info! They will be letting us know how to import it later. I couldn't use mine either.

    The step parenting thing is soooo hard. I went through it too. Hang in there. You love each other and it will work out. It is so hard though. I wanted to pull my hair out a lot. I hope it's better for you soon ...

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  15. It wouldn't let me have my old name, but i did sign up there anyway. I don't like it yet. I think I will stay here for now.
    Sorry to hear about the parenting issuses. Its hard, me and Brian still abng heads over Zack at times.

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  16. I was able to use yacky at the new JS....I'll hang out at both for a while. But at least I will kill my other Wordpress....I can't handle 3 places.

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  17. I stake my name over at the new JS but I think I'll be staying here at Blogger for now. It took SO long for me to set this up. The new JS is okay...I like the home page...I'm trying to be patient but I can't handle two blogs at once..LOL!

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  18. I'm staying put at Wordpress. It's too much trouble to be moving around all over the place anyway. Where ever you go, I'll read ya!

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  19. I can understand about the parenting role that you have in your family, I've found myself in some situations here, were the younger kids ask, "is that what mom said?" when I ask them to do something. As for journalspace, it wouldn't matter who bought it or what they did to it, to me it's tainted or ruined.

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  20. I ended a long relationship for that very reason. After a couple of years together his girls were old enough to decided with whom they wanted to live. The eldest chose us - I developed a good bond with both but the younger of the two still needed her mom. It didn't take long for her to pit my ex and I against each other and I felt powerless. It got so bad that when he and I had a disagreement which didn't even involve her she would take his side. She was successful at splitting us up and after 6 months on their own he began experiencing her manipulative ways and ended up having a lot of trouble with her. I agree with some of your readers comments about the united front between you and Bill. It needs to be or the older she gets ...the more intense the manipulation becomes. Good luck.

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  21. I've been through what you're going through. It's tough but they do grow up! Hope it all gets worked out, Kate.
    As for JS, I've got my likeisaid name back so I have a journal there but I'm keeping this one too until I see what happens. At least my journal here is pretty and I can change it a little. :)

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  22. I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. If I had any great advice I'd pass it along. But sounds like others here have some much better advice than what I could provide.

    As for the staying or leaving. I reserved my old name mainly so someone else doesn't take it. But aside from that. I've spent the time and energy to start getting set up here, found the people I wanted to keep in touch with and I'm fond of the google reader feature so I can easily read all my favorites, I mean blogs I follow through reader easily. So I'm staying. Honestly a blog backed by google sounds safer to me than having to rebuild once again for a blog that might crash burn and die.

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  23. I wish I had time to read all the comments here. But hey, as I don't have time to even read online discussion, I certainly don't have time right now to learn ANOTHER new blogsite. I'm still on the fence about JS. I opened an account there but have done and may do nothing with it. For one, I'd like to see the dust settle a bit and find out what the new owner is all about.

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  24. I tried to join, but never got an e-mail with my password. So for now the heck with it. Family life can be complicated that is for sure. I hope you get it settled.
    Roz

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  25. I went there today, but who knows if I'll ever go back for good?

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  26. I was able to get netmale back, just for the hell of it, so all my data must have disappeared :-)

    I have no idea if I will even use that name again.

    I'm double posting so far, but most of my comments come to the Blogger site.

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  27. i set up an account at the new journalspace and tried importing my entries at my current wordpress account and it worked. you may be able to do the same with your blogger account. however, i think i'm staying put at wordpress for now until journalspace is up for sometime and the kinks ironed out.

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  28. im struggling as well...good luck! i am oo tired to start over on js, i am so sad that all our old entires are gone, there was so much personal stuff,my romance with robert staeted there, i made such wonderful friends, and i wrote more honestly there than anywhere else, but its gone,and i cant go back... im in mourning! xox

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