Thursday, January 15, 2009

lost socks

We've spent the last few days trying to finish up all the laundry downstairs, and today we'll be done. Between that and the handwashing (all my skirts, sweaters and new PJ bottoms get washed by hand) it's been keeping me busy while I'm here.

Today I feel like I have a hangover, but I'm sure that it's because of all the drama around parenting and trying to get it all worked out. I think that we've finally got that done too. It's so upsetting, because I love my life now. Jamie is almost finished school (she says she feels good about the first part of her English final, part two is on the 23rd) Emily is thriving, and Bill and I seem to spend most of our time laughing at one thing or another.

This last bump in the road grew into something much bigger than it needed to be, all because he kept insisting that I was over-reacting. I wasn't being heard at all, and to be honest, my marriage to Dale went like that for the last six years, and I'm not letting this wonderful marriage go the same way.

I posted an entry at the new JS but don't know how to navigate, so I have no idea how to get to your journal unless you post a link here. Since I read a few journals while I'm getting ready for work (right now I'm about to blow dry my hair, lol) and my friends are all on my dashboard, I tend to stick around here.

Thank goodness I have this Saturday off. I'll be able to look around a lot more.


  1. Regarding: "he kept insisting that I was over-reacting"

    You could be describing the struggle I've always endured with the men in my life. I do not believe ALL men are that way (demeaning). Yet such words, from your and my spouse, seem very dismissive.

    Your feelings are valid. They are YOUR feelings, after all. Continue to insist that you be heard. (I have realized: if I do not defend myself, nobody else is going to put forth the energy to do it.) If I allow others to snuff out my feelings like a candle flame; what then? Who is "he" to keep this little light of mine from shining, brightly, fully, to the best of my ability?

    Love, comfort and support for your eternal glowing light,
    ~ SunTiger

  2. I'll second Tiger's response.

    You have to hand it to her. She has seen bears on the beach which is amazing so this marital stuff is a piece of cake compared to that.

    Hope I made you laugh.


  3. I'm glad you'll have the time to navigate a bit over there. It's really not that hard after you get to spend some time there. They are adding new features every day, trying to restore it back to the way it was with some really cool new stuff too. I think you have my link right?

    Relationships are hard. I struggle with being heard too. But sometimes I have to ask myself "How important is it." too.. I'm glad you are realizing this marriage cannot go the same way as the last one. That's important. **Hugs**

  4. I know one does not mean to, and he (or she, in my fam member's case) loves your with all his heart, but it does sound dismissive when he says "you're overreacting." Glad to hear you will hold your ground about it; just different ways we communicate, that's all. ;)

    I think I'm leaning towards staying at Blogger. ;)

  5. Sounds like you got alot accomplished!Thats great.I dont like the new JS so far and havent even signed up.I like it better here.*hugs* Happy Thursday.

  6. When my wife tells me we are talking about HER feelings, after I've made some condescending or inane comment, that is my signal to shut up and listen...and believe me, I know it. Sometimes we guys aren't really cognizant of what we're actually saying and it takes a thump on the noggin to get our attention. You have every right to hold your ground and insist to be heard.

  7. compromise is always hard but worth it. keep the lines of communication open and you will be fine.

    I am sticking with the blog here for now. I cannot tell my head from my ass on the new JS

  8. I like you right here on blogger but will follow your journal where ever you makes its home.

  9. I don't think they mean to be dismissive but it really hurts when they speak like that. I had a relationship like that, too. Then one day I DID over-react, just to get his attention, which worked for a month but that was it.

    If I get that response I just close the argument with, "When you are ready to hear how I feel and take it seriously, I'll be (doing such and such or in some room)."

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