Wednesday, April 1, 2009


photo by Monica Lopossay

Last night's interview went very well! The first thing that I noticed was that the District Sales Manager was at least ten years older than me, so I was relieved about that. The second thing was that she checked out what I was wearing (black pencil skirt, white blouse, brown belted jacket, calf length, high heeled leather boots) and nodded to herself as we were walking toward the coffee bar. Since I felt I'd been passed over by H&M due to age and/or image, this was a good sign.

We talked about former employees and who I might have regretted hiring, and those that I was proud of. We talked about operations, a lot. This store is only 3000 sq feet compared to 4000 in my old store, but the expected sales are almost a million more.

She said she was passing my phone number onto the VP to do a telephone interview and that very few had gotten that far. I hope the VP calls today.

We also mailed a letter away to Tina, Em's bio-mom. Em wrote the first page, saying she wanted to communicate through letters or emails for awhile, because she was having a hard time dealing with the stress of the phone calls. We included a letter explaining that Em had gone back to counselling around Christmas.

There were many phone conversations between you and she about trips/visits for the Christmas holidays, and Em started getting nervous.
It has always been our intention that if you would like to visit her here, we would not stand in the way of the court order but help in any way we could regarding supervised visits. However, we just can't send her to Newfoundland without knowing if she'd be alright, and to be honest, she is scared to go alone.

There were many calls that upset her in November and December. I think the biggest issue is the threat to take us to court. Once she started seeing her psychologist, it was determined that those calls threatened to upset the only stable home she has ever known. The stress of fielding those calls and trying to answer in a way so as not to upset you have caused her extreme pain and vomiting.

This letter is the result of three months of counselling and on the recommendation of her psychologist.

I was a little worried about mailing it yesterday, because that kind of thing usually brings out the worst in Tina. The last two phone messages she left indicated she was still using something - Vicodan or Xanax, or maybe sleeping pills. When she gets like that, she sounds like she's in the middle of a long narrow tunnel and speaking through marbles in her mouth. If she gets into the coke, we'll be in real trouble. That's when she considers herself all powerful, like the evil queen in Snow White.

Today I'm doing some laundry for Bill, but a little later I'll be going down to my office so that I can process some non-smoking forms for two clients.

Happy Humpday.


  1. It is always bad when kids get stuck in the middle of something and they have no escape through no fault of their own. I hope things work out for Em. At least she has the both of you who are there for her :-)

  2. ditto Missa and Mr-Stu... poor Em.

    Good luck on the interview... sounds quite positive!

  3. I think the letter was polite, not condescending and rather blunt. No one can expect everything they want just because they ask for it. I'm sorry to hear Em has to go through it though. It sounds like the psychologist is helping at least.

  4. Good news on the job front.

    I know she is gong to send the wrath of hell back to you.

    I worked in abnormal psych and of course she will gt back at you, it is just a function if she comes across mean or nice at the front end.

    You have your hands full.

    I'll pray for all of you including her mother.


  5. I think the letter was the right thing to do, whatever Tina's reaction. She can't say she wasn't informed.

    Good luck with the VP interview, Kate!

  6. I'm sorry for the lack of compassion Tina seems to exhibit. Compassion and drugs just don't ever meet, do they?

    Nice call on the interview. Here's hoping my next interview is conducted by someone with experience (read: closer to my age). I'd know I'm not bucking an underlying age bias (even if it is my own).

  7. Hoping the interview goes splendiferously!!

    My sentiments re Tina and poor Em echo everyone above, so I won't repeat them. I am keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers- {{hugs}}

  8. I really hope you get the job and are happy there. We spend way too many hours of our lives at work to be somewhere that sucks.

    I am glad that Tina lives so far away. I have to send Aundre to his drunk dad's every weekend and it is miserable. I had to pick him up at noon this weekend because his dad started drunk dialing me.

  9. Kate-

    I think you and Bill are doing all you can to protect, Em and that's all you can do. Obviously. So, just stay on top of things and remain ever watchful and diligent in keeping that child safe, happy and feeling secure.

    The good news is, this situation can't and won't last forever. One day, Em will have the power to either stay in contact with her mother or just completely block her out of her life. Perhaps then, Em's mom will wake up, smell the coffee and see the damage she's done to her own flesh and blood?

    Sounds like you had an excellent job interview. Good luck as it moves forward. Be thinking good thoughts for you and the family. :)

  10. SOunds promising - I hope that you got the call

  11. So glad the interview went well:) Happy Hump day!

  12. I'm very excited about your positive interview experience. You go girl!

  13. Well, it sounds like two good things today - the interview and the courage to send the letter.

  14. That sounds very positive on the job front and I ache reading the letter. I know what that may stir. Good for you and Billfor protecting Em Maggs

  15. concetrating on the first part of your entry: VERY COOL!
    Oh, and your blog here is a good read..thanks