Thursday, April 2, 2009

neighbours suck

photo by Marco Langbroek

Our neighbour is a coward.

I've known him for years (he used to work with Dale) and he was a coward and a dick then, and he still is.

He's the one that kept calling me "baby" a few years ago when his daughter dinged the front panel on my car. Then when Bill moved in, he started making noise about where Bill would park (it's a public street.) He flattened Bill's tires twice and once he knocked out a tail light, and he did all this because he doesn't like people to park anywhere near his house, which sits directly across the street from our house.

Twice last week, when Bill was having to leave the house at 2 am, he parked his work truck near the dick's house, and dickwad called Bill's company to complain. He said that someone dropped a letter off at his house, saying move the truck.

He just can't be honest, and has to pass the buck every single time.

I can't let it go. I'm either going to get out the sidewalk chalk, and write "coward" in GIGANTIC letters in front of his house, or send him a note that says "here's your letter, you coward."

Any other suggestions?


  1. Do the whole flaming brown bag of poo on his doorstep! LOL Revenge is sweet!

  2. Heh heh, I love Andrew's idea.

  3. You need to park a great big truck outside his drive and then go on holiday!

  4. Can you get someone to bang his wife?

  5. I have lots of suggestions...all of them rude, crude and unrefined though. Sorry. *Shrug*

    Hey, Just checked that darn gmail for the first in about 24 hours. Had an email, and sent a reply. :)

  6. He sounds like a major douche! Too bad you don't have a semi truck to park in front of his house. Lol. People like that drive me up a wall. We have a neighbor who always let's their kids ride dirt bikes all hours. I started taking pictures and video, they have stopped to only doing it every now and then. Maybe take pictures of this goofball. Or pretend to, it makes people nervous. ;-)

    I too have lots of ideas, but they are pretty bad. You could always soap his yard. :-)


  7. Send him a copy of the ordinance that allows you to park there. Actually take it to him and have a nice conversation.

    Video surveillance is cheap and easy. He will screw it up eventually.

    Roundup messages in his lawn when it goes green. (Roundup is an herbicide that kills anything growing). We have drawn and written all kinds of funny stuff in lawns and it is impossible to remove unless you dig the whole message up....

    I can't imagine. Can you just park elsewhere and leave the fellow to his own miserable life?

  8. Off topic, but I just LOVE that picture...

  9. Standard Douchebaggery. We hada freind experience similar issues when a neighbor decided his truck was too loud.

    My friend, a contruction worker who could have bent this guy backwards over it, waited him out, then caused a big scene with police when the guy taped a note to his car.

    Aftre a couple of months, they all went to court where my friend made teh plea to the judge "I just want to be left alone" - the jusge ensured the truck was street legal and then had teh other guy pay teh court costs and imposed some weird restraining order around the car - anyways... the moral is the good guys eventually win.

    OR - you can write "Dick" in birdseed in his lawn - in about three weeks the words will grow in at a much lighter color than the grass and its a pain in the ass to get rid of... but you have to use alot of birdseed.

  10. I sure do NOT miss my old jackass neighbors. I hated those fools. Especially the sex offender's girlfriend.

  11. "The only way to win, is not to play!!" Take an avo out against him for harrassment. You can be REALLY scared of him , Right??? Lermie *points above* has offered to "service " his wife. That can't be tracked to you!! I hate and loathe cowards also.

  12. I like the birdseed idea...and You banging Bill might help, won't hurt, teehee

  13. Any of my suggestions would only get someone a nice, long talk with a police officer :-)