Halloween weekend

In past years, our house has been covered with Halloween decorations. Pumpkins, on the verge of rotting, sat on the front steps; gravestones and cemetary signs covered the front lawn. Inside, the living room looked like backstage at a community theatre. Costumes and weapons covered the coffee table, end table and chaise.

This year with Jamie gone, the house is eerily quiet. Em is having a sleepover a few houses down, and it looks like she took her giant pumpkin with her. That thing weighed at least 25 lbs, lol.

Yesterday she went to school in her Mad Hatter Girl costume and it was a hit! At first she wanted to buy a costume but I talked her into getting a hat and building a costume around that and a Victorian jacket we cut down. After moving the buttons and slitting it down the back, I used a long black shoelace to put corset lacing in. She wore a blue satin bubble skirt, multi-coloured leggings and boots, and the other kids loved it.

We don't have any decorations up, but we do have a snow globe that has a skeleton couple dancing to Ding Dong the Witch is Dead and two crows that look down on you from the top of the desk in the kitchen. That's the extent of Halloween for us, this year, along with handing out candy.

Have a safe and happy weekend!

there's a chilly mist today

painting by Mark Bryce

I'm a little disappointed that it's cold today, although it might not stop me completely from trying to place a bunch of rocks that we got yesterday.

Jamie, Em and I drove out to the farm to harvest rocks for the backyard, and it was a great day for it. We picked up one little boulder (40lbs+) and two dozen medium size pink rocks that will form the foundation of the beds that surround the stairs that come up from the basement. I've already transplanted some of shady plants from the front yard back there, but now I can replace the old boards with stone.

While we were there we visited with Mum & Jim, and I got to talk gardening with Mum for awhile. I can't wait until the Spring, because I'm going to fill their front yard with annuals!

Jim was a little grumpy but he's got another hip replacement coming up so he can be grumpy if he wants to be. Still, he gave me a box of potatoes from his garden, which is a real treat for us these days! I don't know why I didn't always appreciate the difference between fresh veggies from a garden and from a grocery store, but I'm loving the onions and garlic from Bill's sister Cathy.

I'm off to make some stew. Have a nice Sunday.

becoming an advocate

photo from Gratitude Rocks.com

I mentioned Mr. Schultz in my last post. He's about ready to break my heart! In between phone calls and enquiries I am getting a lot of lectures from co-workers.

It started when I got the pick up notice from dispatch. Mr Schultz is actually a C-Pap client but because he is 85 and severely claustrophobic, he was unable to be fitted for the mask and when he started freaking for the second time on the second try, the Specialist ripped the mask off and said "You know what? This isn't going to work. Maybe you should pay for the Oxygen." Keep in mind that this all happened within six months of his wife's untimely death.

So instead of having a C-Pap machine to treat his apnea, he was being billed for an oxygen concentrator that would open his airways a bit at night and because he had not applied for any widow's benefits, nor updated his new address with the Senior's Program, he wasn't getting subsidies and couldn't pay for anything more than food & rent. After his bill went $600 Past Due, I was sent to take the concentrator away.

I did have to take it, but I also stayed long enough to contact Home Care. They'll get him some of the things he needs (like a wedge pillow and a shower chair) and they'll help him with payment plans in case he needs to buy something. I also called the Senior's Program and printed off the app for CPP Widow/ers Pension so that he'll be able to pay the overdue amount and (hopefully) get the C-Pap.

Bill cautioned me not to do "too much" or bill my time doing all this, but I believe in the end, he will qualify and we'll be able to make him a client in good standing.

Twice during our meeting, Mr Shultz cried when recounting how his wife used to take care of him. I looked him in the eye and told him, "Mr Schultz, I believe that you've had one of the roughest years of your life, but you are not alone. I will help you get the ball rolling with the paperwork, and Marianne will help you get the C-Pap. Until I can find you another, I will be your Advocate."

He promised to be more open-minded about talking to machines (Mr Schultz hung up the moment an electronic voice came on the phone, out of principal. But that principal was driving him out of his home and into the poorhouse) and he promised he'd be open-minded about the masks we'll have to try on his apnea.

The next day, I called Billing and confronted the woman that was pushing me to go out and get the concentrator. I explained a little before she commented that I was "new and idealistic" but I didn't agree. "I may be new to the company, but I'm forty-five and have a lot of experience with people."

"Everyone has a story," she cautioned.

"Exactly! I have a story too, and in this case I think I can help him and I can get that invoice paid."

In the end, she softened. "I hope that when I'm 85 and have Alzheimer's, someone like you will decide to help me."

Me too. And if I'm not here and my family needs help, please let someone else step in to help them!

I'm off to see my mum today, and hopefully get some nice quartz rocks. Have a good weekend!

tgif

I'm in my office, waiting for Bill to come back so that we can go home.

In the end, it was a good week! I did my deliveries and pick ups, and although we lost several clients this week they were people I hadn't met and I found it easy to deal with their families.

I met one man yesterday, Mr. Schultz, who is 85 and living in a town half hour south of here. His wife of forty years died last January and ever since, he's been sitting back waiting for everything to fall apart around him. It hasn't taken long, given that his wife did everything for him; all the banking and paperwork, all the Dr's and dentists appointments, all the bills. Anyway, he just needs so much and his kids aren't helping, so my office is stepping in.

I contacted a seniors helpline today and got the ball rolling. Ah, Bill is here. Back later!

tuesday afternoon

An old barn on my parents' farm. Pine Lake, Alberta

Each week I face new challenges and frustrations on the job; this week it's a couple from a farming community south of here. On Saturday I got a call from a rural hospital asking that I come in and set up Mr. Oakley so that he could go home, he had some kind of pulmonary problem and had gone to the ER Friday night. Nice couple in their 60's but very high strung and not likely to listen to anything you say! The two of them rambled on while I was trying to demonstrate how to use the equipment, interrupting me over & over again to ask, "how much is that?" A ninety minute job turned into two hours and twenty minutes, and when I would try to steer them back to the task at hand they chastised me.

To be honest, I don't know. Most of our clients are covered through a provincial program, and in their case they have 100% coverage. It doesn't stop them from worrying, and I don't blame them for the worry, but if they've been told over and over by several different people that they have full coverage, they shouldn't call me when I'm with another client to accuse me of "shafting" them. Seriously.

My working relationship with Bill continues to improve but there have been several setbacks, and as much as he'd like me to forget what was said, it's going to take a little time. Remember that line from When Harry Met Sally?

"You can't take it back. It's already out there!"

It's true, for the most part.

On another note, do you have teens? Em is thirteen and would like to start dating soon. My thoughts are that dating means "physical contact" and I don't want anyone touching her! How old were you when you started dating?

I was sixteen before I was allowed to date, but was able to trick my parents into letting me have "sleepovers." These were plans to attend parties & dances, to drink, and to scope out boys. I was NOT a virgin when I was finally allowed to date.

I'd appreciate your thoughts on it, and I must return to work now that's 1 pm. Have a good afternoon!

over it

photographer unknown; came across it while gardening this summer.

In the last six years, Bill and I have created quite a little micro-climate of our own inside this house. He and I and the kids have used this house as a haven against the harshness of the outside world. When retail was kicking my ass (or Jamie's) we could come home, make a nice dinner, and sit around the table just basking in the glow of how safe it was here.

Maybe that's why it hurts so much when turmoil appears on the scene.

Oh man! Years and years ago when Dale was still chronically drinking and bringing home all that angst to me, I asked his therapist about it.

"You know, people don't believe me when I say that he did this; no one but me ever sees that side of him! Everyone else sees the charming, friendly, happy man who has it all together. I just don't get it."

"He trusts you. He loves you and he knows that you're the only one that really knows what he's like and you love him anyway. Classic Borderline behaviour, actually."

Let me just say thank God I don't go through that anymore. Bill is a supportive co-worker but he's never worked with a wife before either, so I'll not hold a grudge for long. This time.

To be honest, I'm never very sure if he gets it or if he's calling a truce to get me to shut up. I guess time will tell. Yesterday and today have been pretty normal and we're back to being laughing companions, the way it should be.

Have a good Sunday!

coming down

photo courtesy of Ron Chavez

Things had calmed down somewhat from the night before, but by yesterday afternoon I continued to resent Bill for comparing me to Lacey. If a call came in for me to fix something on his paperwork, or if I thought I might have to do something that would normally fall into his area of responsibility, I would start to feel miserable immediately.

At four-thirty, I left the office thinking that I'd gas up and deliver a few cylinders to the dentist office and a guy out near Sylvan Lake, but after getting to the gas station I realized that I hadn't brought the delivery notices or an invoice book and couldn't do either because I was too distracted.

Now Bill gets kind of frustrated with me because of the 24 hour turnaround time it takes me to calm down; for him something can be over five minutes later and he can go on as if nothing was said. Unfortunately, when someone questions my ability to do something it takes me a bit longer to calm down. Yesterday and the evening before all I could do is inventory my successes, all the things that both myself and my new co-worker have accomplished, against what I haven't completed yet. I called him from the gas station, miserable.

"So you really feel like things were better before?!" I asked, trying not to cry.

"No Kate," he said, frustration spilling into his tone. "It was a mistake to go down that road last night, I shouldn't have done it and I didn't mean to do it. If we start it all over again today it'll all go to shit like it did last night."

"But why would you say it if you didn't mean it?"

"I was frustrated. I really appreciate everything you and Marianne are doing."

"You didn't mean it."

"No."

"Okay."

Bill went to pick up his nephew, so that they could take in a Rebel's game (local hockey) and I got Em and Jamie and took them out for chinese food and got them some clothes for school.

I hope that on Monday, I can get back some of the enthusiasm I had for the job before all this stuff went down. I like the job when I think I'm making a difference. Not just to Bill but to my clients. Oh, and the good part of it so far? My paycheque was actually bigger than his. That's awesome.

livid

The night I moved into my new house, 2004

Many of you know that I took a job at Bill's company as a respiratory technician; there hadn't been one for several years and the remaining staff were completely overwhelmed.

Lacey, the wife of the old manager, left the company when her husband got her a position at his new company, our competition.

After she left, we started seeing just how overwhelmed she was. Piles of files and invoices and requisitions lay all over the office, every surface was covered. Based on what I've seen, Lacey did nothing but sell C-Pap machines and service those customers.

She talked our boss into letting her hire a helper, based on the fact that she'd take over some of the home oxygen deliveries but that never happened. Apparently, she lied to get the help in the office with filing (fat lot of good that did) and sold Bill down the river.

I come along and six weeks later, have the deliveries done, the paperwork done, the filing, the Safety, the warehouse, the supplies, the troubleshooting and Bill is now down to very little overtime and can call on me when he needs something. Good, right?

Yesterday Bill was in a mood due to some computer error and even though I took care of it (and it's still being investigated) he decided to "be honest" with me. Apparently he'd been "spoiled" by Lacey because he could call her and she'd "make one call and it'd be alright" and he doesn't blame me because I am "inexperienced" and "need some more time to learn the ropes."

BIG, BIG, MISTAKE. I know he was just venting; but now I'm doubting that anything I do will make a lick of difference. Today I feel like quitting my job because apparently, I'm not doing enough, and to be honest, I can't do any more - working fifty hours a week is already too much.

The good news is, I don't have to see him tonight because he's taking his nephew to a hockey game and I'm taking Em & Jamie shopping. Hopefully this black mood will lift by then.

another day off

Random garden art. Love stuff like this!

Yesterday was such a lovely day!

Bill and I usually spend Sundays loading/unloading his 3 ton truck, sorting empty cylinders and decontaminating and transferring equipment to our biomed location in Calgary, but this week we did it on Saturday and boy did we get a lot done! Thank goodness too, because in the last few days we've had a lot of call outs to change concentrators and we were so behind we were having to clean & test on the go.

Having everything finished early meant that I could do some gardening while the turkey was in the oven, and I took full advantage of that. I moved a peony tree from the front yard to the back (I think it's going to need it's own micro-climate this winter, and since I moved it into a corner area, I believe it'll survive) and I edged some of the other beds I have in front with soft red brick. Although I don't always like the look of it when it's freshly installed, I know it'll look great next spring once the annuals are planted.

By five in the afternoon, I had much of the garden cleaning done and while Em and I drove off to collect Jamie from work, Bill mashed the potatoes and drained the veggies and took the turkey out of the oven.

Dinner was lovely! The bird was only ten pounds and went quickly, and after dinner we settled in the living room with coffee and cheesecake to watch "One Week", a Canadian independent film with Joshua Jackson. Loved it and highly recommend it!

Today is Holiday Monday, which means I get an extra day off (again, thank goodness! I put in 51 hours last week) and we're driving out to Eckville to see Bill's sister. Since she lost her MIL to cancer in January, she has quit work as a camp cook and stays home on the family farm to help look after her FIL; this has meant she could send for her fifteen year old son in Newfoundland and she's thrilled. She has not lived full time with her children for several years, because she had to leave the province to work. Now that she has Brent back, she's spoiling him rotten! Good thing he's such a nice boy.

Happy Monday!