Sunday, October 17, 2010

over it

photographer unknown; came across it while gardening this summer.

In the last six years, Bill and I have created quite a little micro-climate of our own inside this house. He and I and the kids have used this house as a haven against the harshness of the outside world. When retail was kicking my ass (or Jamie's) we could come home, make a nice dinner, and sit around the table just basking in the glow of how safe it was here.

Maybe that's why it hurts so much when turmoil appears on the scene.

Oh man! Years and years ago when Dale was still chronically drinking and bringing home all that angst to me, I asked his therapist about it.

"You know, people don't believe me when I say that he did this; no one but me ever sees that side of him! Everyone else sees the charming, friendly, happy man who has it all together. I just don't get it."

"He trusts you. He loves you and he knows that you're the only one that really knows what he's like and you love him anyway. Classic Borderline behaviour, actually."

Let me just say thank God I don't go through that anymore. Bill is a supportive co-worker but he's never worked with a wife before either, so I'll not hold a grudge for long. This time.

To be honest, I'm never very sure if he gets it or if he's calling a truce to get me to shut up. I guess time will tell. Yesterday and today have been pretty normal and we're back to being laughing companions, the way it should be.

Have a good Sunday!


  1. Working with a spouse can't help but add complications to a relationship. But from all I know about you two, I'm sure you will work-out what ever gets thrown at you.

  2. There are times that happens and you have to weather those storms. It's hard but always focus on that safe place called home.

  3. I'm sure the two of you will work through things. *hugs*

  4. Um,

    Guys usually call a truce as a time saver.

    In the end he just wants to make you happy. It doesn't have to be complicated either.

    You will work it out. Marriage is work my dear friend. Don't make it so hard.

    No of us are perfect.


  5. I don't think I can say anything that hasn't been said- I'm glad y'all are back to talking again though..*hugs*

    Oh and I am loving this bag- and even though it isn't the bag you had on FB it is a little more affordable.. although still not under 100. I thought you may like it.

  6. Thanks! We are working it out now, but every day something else comes up related to the original problem. Sweeping it under the rug the first day has caused it to continue into this week :(

    Bobby - I don't find things complicated, but expect a little courtesy from my spouse. Save time with other people; I am worth the extra half hour.

    Lori - off to look!