Monday, September 6, 2010

monday quiet

Jamie, July 2010

Last week when Jamie said, "Well I dunno how to tell you guys so I'll just spit it out."

In that second, Bill and I both thought 'don't be pregnant', as a knee-jerk reaction.

"I'm moving out."

*sigh of relief*

"Moving out!" I parroted, somehow not surprised. In the past few weeks I'd seen the odd comment on Jame's facebook page, then she started organizing her things. That alone was the biggest red flag of all, lol. Anyway, for the last year I have been waiting for that moment, yet it still felt a little shocking.

Jamie turned twenty-one last December and many of her friends have have been out of their parents' homes for years by that age, although some still require assistance from their parents.

I'm so happy that I had her at home a little bit longer.

She'd gone through Dale's nervous breakdown, alcoholism and death between the ages of eight and thirteen and lost at least two years of development in 2001 and 2002. In the aftermath of all that, we moved into an apartment on the east side (I always refer to those two years as our pergatory) where Jamie struggled through a myriad of challenges.

These last four years have been spent building a foundation for the kids. In the past both myself & Dale and Bill & Tina had been caught up in all the problems associated with mental illness and drug and alcohol abuse, and the kids paid a high price for that. Dale passed away in 2002; Tina passed away last March.

The kids have really bonded these past four years! That's the best thing about Jamie having stayed home a little longer. Plus, I got to know her as she grew and changed and in these last few years she's gained a graceful self-confidence.

Em stayed with her last night but forgot to take a change of clothes so we're running some items over after this, I think we'll also take an old buffet table and some of Dale's things. After that, Jamie is taking Em shopping for more school clothes. Yay for holiday Mondays :)


  1. ...felt the relief all the way from here:) when our daughter turned 16 she became pregnant. the other day in the store i saw two little girls looking for a pregnancy test kit. i was thinking......oh no!!!! another friend from around here is hoping her son remains at home a while longer. i think it's great that Jamie was allowed/given time for bonding, healing and maturing. congratulations to both of you:)

  2. Eric moved out several months ago and we barely see him even tho he lives close by.

  3. Hmm...I've got my youngest just moving in next month. It was hard on her own. She needs to get a breather and give it another go later when she's got her feet back under her. I'm looking forward to it (with trepidation and love).

    Congratulations, to have grown an adult. This stuff is kinda fun.

  4. Mine is in and out of our lives now that she is going to college. She lives in the dorms but calls this place home.

    Nice post.


  5. a-sojourner - Jamie is the last of her school friends now. There are a few happily married which is nice, but many more struggling.

    Dani - hopefully he'll come around more often when the winter hits. I expect to help Jamie out more often after the snow arrives!

    btreath-e : That sounds nice for the both of you. I'm glad that Jamie and I had three years alone before bill & em came.

    Bobby - I believe Jamie moves back here for the summer after school lets out. It's a house but rented out to college students, and the basement is being reno'd into another suite with it's own entrance. It's walking distance :)

  6. She will be in and out from here on in. Well done!! You have done a wonderful job.. Maggs

  7. You ALL have been through some very trying times (to say the least). Best wishes to each of you. :-)

  8. Hi Kate!

    Jamie looks so cute, love that photo . I'm looking forward to seeing 4 grand kids I've not seen since 1995 !

    Wow, Jamie is grown up so fast! Best of luck to her :)

  9. It will be a new chapter in her life but also in yours. I absolutely adore the picture of her.. soo cute. I remember when i moved out- I ended up spending more time iwth my parents than I did before I moved. LOL crazy but true