Thursday, June 9, 2011

she's not heavy, she's my mother

photo by Linda Goodhue

I've been thinking about my mum for days, as well as my sister, Deb. Since Mum didn't have sheets on her bed when I was down on Monday, I thought I'd better call again yesterday.

"Mum, I know Debbie said she'd take care of your hair & feet, but I haven't heard from her in awhile."

"I don't know what's going on with her," my mum replied.

"Me either. I'm just going to come out and do it - I don't want to confront her or anything, I'm just going to do it. How many sets of sheets do you have for the new bed?"

"Just one, I think."

"Were they in the wash then? When I was there the other day?

"I don't know."

Mum is 84 and very frail.

"I was at the Sally Ann today and got some beautiful soft sheets for you. Yes! I got them for your bed. NO, YOUR BED." (She's hard of hearing, lol)

I'll be going out on Saturday to do a pedicure and put on the new sheets. Bill will be pressure washing the deck and checking the filter in the furnace.

I'm still mad at my sister, and to be honest, I think I will be for awhile.


  1. My sister and I have always had issues. We have no parents now and I struggle keeping a relationship going with her. Time will tell. Good luck to you Kate.

  2. I am an only child. Sometimes a blessing, sometimes a curse. Good luck.

  3. my younger brother and his wife are taking care of our dad and mom (whose in a care home now... she's now 91). I don't get ANY news from them!

  4. Kate - They are almost in need of constant care. Oh boy...this is going to be difficult I can already tell.

  5. Kate, my heart goes out to you in this part of your journey. My sister and I have similar issues. My siste means well BUT has issues and is claustrophically controlling - and everything ends up being about her - with tantrums if she doesn't get her own way. She and I no longer talk. And we shan't. I love her and wish her well, but can't do more there. My mum has also become increasingly frail. Her health issues and her ability to do has diminished in the last 3 or 4 years and she insists on still living in the home I grew up in. We are looking at it as a case of what harm does it do... I pop out there one evening a week and change her bed linen and assist with what I can, taking treats, and my daughters each help. My cousin does her grocery shopping and her husband changes light bulbs etc. Once your mum passes these efforts on your part, you will be grateful for.