Sunday, November 1, 2009

november already?!


photo by Tim Lyons


The house is incredibly quiet right now, and I am enjoying it a lot. Em had a sleepover last night (so she's napping), Jamie stayed out until five or six this morning and is still sleeping, and Bill is out doing a gutter job.

There are so many things that I've been thinking about, and kept hoping that I'd get back to blogging. A month ago, one of my previous managers at the insurance company accepted a promotion in Victoria, BC and moved out there while his family stayed behind to sell the house and settle things here. He was my favourite manager and this promotion will be bring him (at the very least) a $75,000 increase in salary. Incredible! Since I still miss my insurance gig and still wish I had been able to make a go of it, I can't help but wonder if I had stayed, if I had waited to get through this last physical road block - would I have been able to move into management there?

Of course, those what ifs are moot now. I am working five days a week at the big box store and once a week at the clothing store and I'm planning to take a Human Resources course in April. Onward and upward.

I saw an Oprah interview with Patrick Swayze's widow, Lisa Neimi. My heart just broke for her, she's so new! It's only been six weeks since his death and she still refers to him in present tense. I wish I could say I remember those days, but I don't. Back then I was still putting one foot in front of the other and longing for the day I could think of Dale and what we went through, without crying. Well, after seven years I still cry - although now, it's mostly for me and not about the lonliness without him. Fortunately, I have blocked out a lot of the traumatic memories, even though I had to give up the good with the bad.

Financially, my family is still struggling but we're getting by. We've been lucky that we haven't had any utilities shut off, although I'm driving my truck with no insurance and I had to let my life insurance lapse. Jamie will be getting more hours soon and Bill picked up a freelance job to do someone's facia and eavestoughs and that should catch up the one truck payment that we're behind. Unfortunately, he hasn't been able to secure a full time job yet. Soon - I hear things are picking up again.

I just don't know what we'd do without hope.

14 comments:

  1. I'm glad to hear that you are still plugging away out there Kate. Everybody is pulling for you :)

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  2. Thanks for the update, sorry things are so tough, but then so are you! You are an inspiration... Thank you for all you say and the hope you share.

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  3. Yeah it's Russian Roulette on what you keep and don't. Health insurance is gone and like you behind a payment on most things. Things are getting better, but too slow for my taste. Good luck with it all.

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  4. Nice to hear from you Kate. I'm happy to hear you guys are managing to keep your heads above water.

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  5. So true, to read your words, adversity and hope go hand in hand. Good to see you back again. I know about not having time to blog, lots of thoughts that never get put into words...

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  6. What a great positive attitude. Yes things are picking up and your course next year should be exciting.

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  7. You're doing the best you can Kate. Hope that the next few months get better for you.

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  9. No matter who we are, as human beings, we suffer significant losses. Hopefully we pick our selves up and recuperate to some degree. Yesterday was "Day of The Dead;" a holiday that reminds me not to take myself (or even my choices) too seriously. Death is certainly no respecter of persons and it affects us all -- reminding us everything is just temporary: pain as well as joy.

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  10. Wow, kinda scary driving without auto insurance. I've done it in the past out of need, but man, if you get into an accident, it's all over. Hope things pick up for you folks in the financial department, I'm right there with you.
    ben

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  11. Hang in there KAte. I know times are tough.

    Love ya,
    Bobby

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  12. Sending as many good vibes and positive embraces I can.
    Keep holding on, it will get better,
    mj

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  13. Keep on doing what your doing girl, and don't lose site on the prize! Things will turn around for you and your family, I just know it!!

    *HUGS*

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  14. Thinking of you and hoping that all is fabulous in your world *hugs*

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