Saturday, November 27, 2010
I hate change.
I struggled with it for years until my late husband died, then I had no choice whatsoever - to me, it was either get used to the change; in fact embrace the change, or lay down and die as well.
Sounds harsh, but that was the truth. Death hovered near my door for nearly eighteen months, with a tiny little flicker of hope burning away in the back of my mind. I had to face all the issues I couldn't (or wouldn't) face before - my co-dependency, my complacency, my selfishness. My home and my work area reflected how I felt for all those years. If I took something out, I left it out. If I opened a door, I left it open. If something fell on the floor, it stayed there.
As time passed after Dale's death, I felt that change was something I needed to embrace. I left my job and changed industries altogether; insurance was something that interested me because of the service and maintenance aspect. I loved my office and my co-workers, loved the suits and the snappy SUV, and I just adored the shoes!!
Alas, I couldn't sustain the required continuous prospecting. BUT, I learned through my experience with insurance that when it comes to mountains of paperwork, organization is key.
My working life is much easier now. It's not that I don't have moments from the past (just yesterday I misplaced a file) but for the most part I have accepted this new order of things. My house, my car and my office space reflect this.
My office partner has yet to see the light. I spent three hours cleaning her space for the arrival of the new manager yesterday, and within the same amount of time it was all back to piles of paper and trails of equipment.
In the afternoon, she told someone that it will be difficult changing twenty-five years of bad habits, and with that attitude, she's right. Wish me luck.