time for another camera

For the last several months I've been in denial about my digital camera. It cost me almost four hundred dollars six years ago, and because of that I have always placed such major value on it.

When the shutter started sticking, it didn't matter; I just pried it apart with my fingertip. Last fall when we had to remove the program that uploads the photos, I remember thinking that I could find the driver online.

Last week when we got the new kitten, Rogue, I tried taking a few photos but to no avail. Not only does the button stick, but the computer won't recognize the device to upload the photos.

I believe it's time to get something new. I still can't afford to get the type of camera I'd like, but a pocket digital will satisfy my need to post pics on blogspot and facebook.

Have a nice Sunday!

embrace change!

I hate change.

I struggled with it for years until my late husband died, then I had no choice whatsoever - to me, it was either get used to the change; in fact embrace the change, or lay down and die as well.

Sounds harsh, but that was the truth. Death hovered near my door for nearly eighteen months, with a tiny little flicker of hope burning away in the back of my mind. I had to face all the issues I couldn't (or wouldn't) face before - my co-dependency, my complacency, my selfishness. My home and my work area reflected how I felt for all those years. If I took something out, I left it out. If I opened a door, I left it open. If something fell on the floor, it stayed there.

As time passed after Dale's death, I felt that change was something I needed to embrace. I left my job and changed industries altogether; insurance was something that interested me because of the service and maintenance aspect. I loved my office and my co-workers, loved the suits and the snappy SUV, and I just adored the shoes!!

Alas, I couldn't sustain the required continuous prospecting. BUT, I learned through my experience with insurance that when it comes to mountains of paperwork, organization is key.

My working life is much easier now. It's not that I don't have moments from the past (just yesterday I misplaced a file) but for the most part I have accepted this new order of things. My house, my car and my office space reflect this.

My office partner has yet to see the light. I spent three hours cleaning her space for the arrival of the new manager yesterday, and within the same amount of time it was all back to piles of paper and trails of equipment.

In the afternoon, she told someone that it will be difficult changing twenty-five years of bad habits, and with that attitude, she's right. Wish me luck.

admitting defeat

Now that our family cat, Tokyo, has been gone for over seven weeks, we're finally admitting that something may have happened to her. We're afraid that she went into the hay field to the east of us and that means eagles and coyotes would have had a chance to get her.

If that happened, I hope and pray it was fast. I miss her.

On Sunday, we brought back a little grey tabby kitten from the farm. She's about five or six weeks old and very cute! After having her in the house for a few hours, we've decided to call her Rogue. She might be little, but she's tough!

Pics to follow. Now it's time for me to get back to work!

sunday sunday

random flower pic, I collect them for ideas next spring!

I'm feeling a little frustrated with my newest client, Mrs. Bodwell.

I first saw her on Thursday, and spent well over ninety minutes showing her how to use the concentrator, the cylinders, and the regulator. The next morning, the respiratory therapist showed her everything again, and on Saturday morning I went over and showed her again.

It's very important to me that these clients feel comfortable using everything, but I am picking up a different vibe from this lady! At least half a dozen times during each demonstration, she would start to say how upset she was that she had to use oxygen therapy, that she refused to wear the cannula or carry the little O2 cylinder down to the games room, that she called her Dr (who is very important and flies back and forth from New York) and he said she didn't have to wear it to dinner; I would reiterate that she can only do what she's going to do but it was still very important to learn how to take care of herself and her lung health. If she eventually decided to use oxygen therapy outside her room, she'd want to know how to use the regulator.

Last night I got another call from her.

"Kathy? I'm in big trouble!"

"What's happening, Mrs. Bodwell?"

"I can't get the oxygen to shut off. I wore it to play cards, and now that I'm home it won't shut off. I am just so confused by all this! Can you come by and show me again?"

"Absolutely, Mrs. Bodwell. However, I think you could use some family support with this and would like to show one of your daughters. I may not always be able to come over and it'll be important that they know."

"I'm not sure when they're available..."

"I'm very open to whatever time they're available, as long as I'm available."

"I tried turning it clockwise like you said..."

To be honest, I have a suspicion that she's building up a case against using it, but I have to keep persuing the family training. Once you've done the individual training three times and they're not retaining it you've got to move on because there are hundreds of clients to take care of and it becomes the family's responsibility.

In this case, she's very lucid; she's active, she has friends inside the nursing home, she sews and plays cards and knows exactly what she wants (she had her daughter picking up a flat screened, HD TV while I was there) so I know that it comes down to

A) a mental block (or)
B) manipulating someone - the docs, the family, or me.

I remember how upset my mum was the year the docs told her she'd be on blood pressure medication, possibly for the rest of her life. I wondered if we'd have trouble keeping her compliant! In the end, she knew the meds were going to help her and after a few weeks, it was rarely mentioned again.

I have an appointment with Mrs. Bodwell and her daughter on Monday, and I hope it works the same way.

Speaking of Mum, it's her 82nd birthday today! We're headed out to see her in an hour or so.

Have a nice Sunday!

okay, that's a start.

Well, at a little before 4:30 today, my co-worker, Marianne, had our boss on speakerphone and came right out and asked whether I would still have a job tomorrow.

"Oh yes! Please have her show up tomorrow! I've been meaning to let you know that I put in a request to extend her contract; I can't do much else because there is a new area manager and he'll have to make a call on permanent full time."

Okay then ... I'm just so happy to continue getting these paycheques. I got a pink slip in my water bill last week (that is our city's way of saying last chance before disconnection) and I was able to pay it today. Yay!

I wish I didn't have to work so many hours, but there isn't much I can do, for now. When I get the chance, I'd like to start looking into the competition. I heard from a respiratory therapist today who might be interested in hiring me to help him start a company from the ground up and that would be exciting! A therapist from my company passed on my phone number in case this company wasn't going to keep me on. The offer wouldn't be on the table until 2011, but the networking has started already and I'm a huge believer in networking.

Jamie's still doing great at her college classes but she's mad at me right now and I haven't spoken to her since Saturday night. To be honest, I know why she's mad but there are some things I can do and some things I can't do and I can't sweat the little things. In this case, she thinks we had a "fight" but we didn't - she hung up on me and I'm over it. Hopefully she calls me back tomorrow because today was payday and I usually get her coffee money, books or cash for some of her classes and this tantrum is putting the kibosh on that, lol.

Em's on restriction because she was less than forthcoming about the number of missing assignments she has to date (four as of parent-teacher interviews) and we also discovered that Em has been disrupting math & science classes by talking and has been moved a few times already. The next step is to move her to a table alone, we're hoping she'll be able to control herself and show more respect for her teacher and her classmates before that happens. Seems like she's already improving, thank goodness.

I'm off to clean off my desk before leaving the office for the day. Have a nice evening!

commitment

The last few weeks have been so busy that I haven't had an opportunity to blog or to read blogs. I've thought about everyone though; particularly since the JS crowd has been posting like crazy on Facebook!

I usually get a chance to have coffee and blog on Saturday mornings, but last week our boss in Edmonton wanted us to work Saturday so that we could get a head start on inventory. Bill, Marianne and I showed up around 10:30 and stayed 'til just about 5:00, counting C-Pap machines and oxygen therapy equipment. To be honest, it's been a nightmare.

The woman that ran the office prior to our arrival often lent out machines without documentation, she also cut open bags to take clips or headgear from sets. Also, respiratory therapists come in and take supplies without filling out the proper forms. I have to say, my resentment has truly built up for this company this past two weeks! My temporary contract runs out on Monday and I still have no idea whether they'll be offering me a permanent position or not.

When I brought it up last week, the manager from Edmonton looked up and said, "Oh. Maybe something part time? Would you do that?" I agreed, but for the record, I average over fifty hours per week.

If it comes down to the company not wanting to offer me benefits, so be it. Bill has benefits, I don't need them; but I do need to know that I am valued as an employee. I love my job most days, and I really enjoy taking care of my customers. If I have to, I'll start applying to the competition.

Today I'd like to go see my mom, who's turning 82 next weekend. I got her a very pretty teal coloured cardigan and tank and since you never know when you'll be called out, I'd better take it to her now in case next week doesn't work out.

Have a nice weekend!